maybe a different flavor?

yesterday i took the dreaded glucose test to see if i have gestational diabetes.
i was kind of hoping that all the pregnant women who had gone before me and told me how gross it was.. were exaggerating.
of course they weren't.
that stuff tastes like straight up sugar and not in a pleasant "i have sugar cravings and this satisfied them" way.
more like.. "ohmygross. the whole thing? all of it? how about half? no? do you have another flavor? just this orange? okay.... bottoms up."
and then the hour of waiting in a waiting room and my only form of entertainment was a little boy with  his mom and little sister. he kept having to go to the bathroom to wash his hands over and over again and the front desk kept calling for a "Caitlin" and then to my surprise... that little boy was in fact a little girl and she was Caitlin.
totally thrilling.

i'm not sure why i didn't think they'd draw my blood.
i think i thought i'd just pee in a cup and be on my way..
so when she had me go wait until she was going to "draw a vile"... panic set it.
i hate needles.
a nice sheen of sweat covered my forehead as i quickly text TA and told him what they had to do.
but then, as if to distract me, baby girl put on a show.
her kicks popped out my belly and made me smile.
i've never been so enthralled to just sit there and stare at my shirt for 30 minutes.

so when my time came up and i had to give the nice lady my blood...
it wasn't that bad.
i told her that i usually have to have newborn needles when i give blood, which she was glad i told her that.
i also told her that i have really small, tricky veins. she told me thank you again.
"it's better to know what i'm working with than guess and stick you more than i need to."
i could have hugged her.
she was quick and efficient and i was all the sudden totally at peace.

as i sat there with the nice lady and baby girl quiet in my tummy it hit me.
to go through all these tests and pee in all the different cups and get my blood drawn a million more times, to get the occasional contraction, to never get comfortable at night and wake up at 3am every morning..
i realized this:
it's no longer about me.

and i couldn't be more happy.

beautifully rooted

another one of my posts has been put up on Beautifully Rooted today.


if you feel so inclined, go take a peek!

 "Becoming Parents"

LET'S MAKE HIM FAMOUS

i could write a guilt-tripping sentence about human genocide and and how we Americans sit happily and safe in our bubbles of protection often never hearing about Joseph Kony and his reign of terror for the past 26 years.
i could then try and guilt you into watching this video because "it's the right thing to do."
but i wont.

just know.. it's a wonderful video and you wont regret spending your time watching it.
i didn't.
Todd didn't.
and the almost 2,000,000 others who watched it didn't either.

around 2004 i sat in our churches old high school room, on the floor, with about 50 other students.
we watched a short documentary called Invisible Children.
and many of our lives were changed.
i remember seeing hundreds of sweet African children's faces.
and a fire was ignited.
i remember wanting to save Africa and to help bring down Joseph Kony.

my dream of living in Africa obviously didn't pan out, nor was it supposed to ,
but that doesn't mean that i forgot about Africa.
TA and i spent a couple months last year praying over whether we should interview for a trip going to Kenya.
my heart shouted "YES!", but something held us back.
(obviously, now, we know that God was whispering that we had life changing things coming to us in 2012)
but even that doesn't mean we stop.

the greatest thing about Invisible Children, Inc. is that they make it possible.
it is 100% possible Joseph Kony will be brought to justice.
it is 100% possible that child genocide will end in Africa.
it is 100% possible because we make it possible.

Give
Get the Kit

LET'S MAKE HIM FAMOUS.

KONY2012

11 things

i've seen this posted out in the blog world lately on some of my favorite blogs and was tagged by Courtney.

There are five rules: 

1. Post these rules.

2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.

3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.

4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.

5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.

1. when i was little i loved Sculpy, but i called is Sculpty. made sense, still does.

2. about two seconds before i have gotten any of my tattoos, i have had a moment of wanting to back out.. but i never have. it's probably because it's such a permanent decision even though i've thought about it and thought about it and thought about it. (still love my tattoos)

3. i feel really sad for Singer when i think about how all our lives will change after baby girl is born. and by that i mean Singer has been our number one love bug, where we shower all our love and to think that it will naturally shift to our child (where it should)... it just seems like to her.. it will come out of no where. there were a couple months after getting Singer when i thought to myself... "there is no way we could have kids. one, i love Singer a ridiculous amount and even thinking about dividing that love up to little children who would take my attention away from her somehow seems cruel. two, who needs kids when you have the worlds most kick a$$ dog to call your own? and three... Singer is already super expensive. children are more expensive. holy cow." i wish all that time that she could just be human for like 3 minutes and give me a chance to explain to her that her little world will change drastically come June so it will be less of an "adjustment" for her.
i obviously love my dog.


4. i'm an introvert. i'd prefer to spend my time in my house, alone. i remember growing up i wouldn't call friends to hang out because i just wanted to be by myself. i wasn't depressed or striving for anyone to notice.. i just wanted to hang out by myself. my house is a refuge. it always has been and i enjoy feeling safe within it's walls.


5. though i am an introvert.. i miss Todd all the time and wish he was near me. if he's not home, i wish he was. if i'm at work, i wish we were together. if he has to leave early in the morning, i am bummed. if he's at CrossFit after work and i know he wont be home till 6pm, i eagerly wait for him to walk through the door.


6. i love french fries. like you wouldn't believe.


7. we've lived in our home for over a year and just 2 weeks ago came to the conclusion that we want to re-do everything. of course that can cost big money, but we all know i love to thrift and we also all know that often times thrift store carry gems in their furniture department that can be "re-done" for cheeeeap. so... i'm just waiting for my nesting to kick in (not really) and we'll get started. (we actually have started getting rid of things we really don't want anymore because we're getting new flooring put in this weekend.) (and by "we're getting new flooring put in" i mean.. TA is putting the flooring in and i'm going to Palm Desert. totally fair.)


8. we already have baby girls name picked out, but we're keeping it to ourselves. this has actually ruffled a few feathers (in the best way possible). my mom and my brother had a bet that Todd would spill the beans first. my dad keeps coming up with seriously hideous names and telling me he loves them and thinks they are pretty (Ruperta??? really?!). one of our pastors at our church, who did our premarital, said that if we named her Veronica he'd pay for four years of her college. his name is Ron. of course.
but we're keeping this sweet name to ourselves till she is born and we love it. we say it all the time at home to each other when we talk about her or to her, which has gotten me a little paranoid that I might be the one to spill the beans.


9. my favorite documentary is Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead. i love it so much TA bought me a juicer for Christmas so that once baby girl is born i can juice on the regular. i've made a few juices for the morning. mostly green machines and letmetellyou.. they are delicious. i watched the doc before i got pregnant and was completely sold. there was a lady in it that juiced for 10 days straight to detox her body and to see if it would help rid her of her chronic migraines and it did. i wanted to snatch the juices right out of her hand and drink them myself. luckily my hormones are a bit more balanced being pregnant and i've only gotten one killer migraine, but before i was pregnant i was getting them at least two to three times a week and excedrine migraine barely touched them. i'm excited to really start implementing them into my diet once baby girl is born.


10. some of you may know this, but before i met TA i wanted to live in Africa for the rest of my life. and then i met him, went to Africa and realized i wanted to live wherever he was. it was as easy as that.


11. before we got married we agreed on 3 kids. then we got married and agreed on 4 kids. now that i'm pregnant TA thinks he wants 2 kids. i still want 4 kids. i guess we'll see!


***************************

1. Why did you start writing your blog?

i started writing two downings after TA and i had been married about 7 and a half months. basically i wanted to journal our lives without having to "journal". i wanted to be able to add pictures and post about little things he said or i said. i really just wanted to remember. i've gone back to those archives a time or two and every time i do i go "ahhhh yes! i remember that!"

2. What is your favorite TV show?

 Sons of Anarchy. hands down the greatest show on earth. and Friday Night Lights, but it doesn't air anymore and Sons does therefore Sons wins.

3. What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

get married at 21. no, i'm kidding. 

get pregnant at 23. jk again.

okay seriously.. i'm not that big of a risk taker. i mean i want to go sky diving. my brother and i thought about doing it for his 30th birthday, but it was pretty pricey. guess i'll need a groupon for that. i've jumped off the Long Beach pier, but that was supervised and was for Jr. Lifeguards. it was thrilling.. especially knowing that there were fishermen all around and i could land on one of their hooks, but i'm literally drawing a blank about the craziest thing i've done.

4. Who do you most identify with out of all the characters you've met in tv, books, or movies?
i actually spent a lot of time thinking about this question. seeing as i've read so many books and watched so many movies i really had a hard time coming up with anything other than the entire Harry Potter series. i probably identify with it because i grew up with it and i've read each book multiple times. i'm not sure of a specific character that i strongly identify with other than maaaaaayyyybe Ignotus Peverell , but only in the fact that i wouldn't want to bring anyone back from the dead (resurrection stone) especially if they didn't truly belong here and i wouldn't want an object with such power to possibly brag about (elder wand). the thing i admire most about the character of Ignotus is that he left this world "greeting Death as a friend". maybe it was his way of actually living out the "humblest brother" part and living a full life that i find so intriguing. the other two objects required changing other peoples lives. the stone and the wand were created to give the oldest brother power and the middle brother relief. the Cloak was indeed the wisest choice.

5. What is your dream job?
being a mother, being a stay-at-home-mother, and finding a way to use my art to help pay the bills.

6. What would you do with a million dollars?
in actuality i'd discuss it all with TA. we'd probably pay most of our house off, tithe, put aside a college fund for baby girl, get rid of the Murano and get a reliable car.

7. What is your greatest fear?
my new greatest fear is losing the baby. i also fear losing Todd.
but something i need to stand on about "fear" and "death" is this:

 Romans 14:8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

8. What is on the top of your bucket list?
i don't really have a bucket list, but something i keep telling Todd is.. "ooooh... i want to go there and there and there and there.." basically i want to travel. i understand people say that after you have a baby you don't travel, but i'd like to think of that as a small challenge. of course we'll still travel. whether it be a day trip somewhere close or an actual vacation where we fly.. we'll still travel.
i'd love to go back to Georgia, but with TA and baby girl.
i'd love to visit my cousin in Alaska (the most beautiful trip i've ever been on) .
and i'd love to have a house with a backyard.
all in due time...

9. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Seattle, WA. hands down. i love dreary weather. i looooaaaatthhe the summer. i never ever never ever never ever look forward to it. i love rain and clouds and grey skies and "100% chance of rain so bring those umbrellas!"
TA on the other hand... loves the heat. growing up in the desert did that to him. poor guy.

10. What are your strengths?
i am really sensitive to others emotions around me, which i truly believe is a negative thing and a positive thing. negative, because i often want to fix others emotions if they are sad or hurt or because they hurt someones feelings and didn't know it and i want them to apologize and make it better... that my friends is called co-dependency.
positive, because i can sense their emotions. if the timing and the situation is appropriate i can become more sympathetic or understand where they are coming from and what happened. if i am asked, i can provide another side to the situation.

11. From Bren: 

Can Todd come out to play?
maybe.. but he has to finish his homework and chores firs.

********************

my questions to the bloggers i tag:
1. what is your happiest memory?
2. what's your favorite drink? (alcoholic or non)
3. what is your favorite post you've written?
4. any words of wisdom you'd like to pass along?
5. what traditions have been passed down in your family?
6. who do you look like more? mom or dad?
7. if you had to eat one meal for the rest of your life what would it be?
8. do you like reading fiction or non-fiction? why?
9. if you could have breakfast with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go to eat?
10. would you rather be rich or healthy?
11. describe yourself in one sentence.


i tag : andrea, hannah, ellie, kari, kim

baby girl updates

 {this picture has nothing to do with this post other than every time i see it i want to eat a hundred of them and i can blame it on being pregnant.}

i am almost to my 24 week mark, which means we're almost to 6 months, which means only about 3 month to go! where does time go?
before we know it we will be welcoming our daughter into our lives in the flesh.
what a surreal thought.

baby girl is moving right along with the strength of her kicks recently.
some times it seriously tickles and makes me chuckle.

she loves music.
last week TA and i went to the Preparation (Lent) Service at our church and i kid you not... i have never felt her kick so hard in my entire life.
we spent most of the hour worshiping to wonderful music and she must have thought it was equally as wonderful because i was blown away by how active she was.
the entire hour she didn't stop moving and when i put my hand on my belly it would actually pop up a little where ever she kicked.
then the other day when i was on my way to work i was listening to morning talk radio and after a while i got bored with that and turned it to the Christian station that was playing music... and the kicking began again.
it's my most favorite thing these days.
i know for a while she wasn't as active as she is now and there would be hours and hours and half of days that would pass by and i'd start to get nervous because i couldn't feel a kick or an elbow.
and then, blessedly, i would and i'd tell her thank you.

TA really felt her the other day.
he kind of felt her a while ago, but when he explained to me what it had felt like, i knew he didn't really feel her kick-kick.
so this weekend i was sitting there being kicked and noticed that she was getting stronger with every kick.
so i grabbed TA's hand and about 2 seconds later he yelped and withdrew his hand.
his eyes were as big as silver dollars and he said in all seriousness "oh my gosh! there's a human in there!"
he didn't want to feel again for a while, telling me that he was "good for now."
though he was completely amazed, i think he was a bit shocked at how "alien" it really felt from the outside.
i couldn't blame him for being a little freaked out. he thought he was going to feel a soft little kick and instead, girlfriend kicked his hand as hard as she could.
i kind of imagined her giggling to herself in my tummy.

baby girl has also started her first trick.
whenever i feel her kick and there is someone else around who wants to feel her.. she will stop as soon as they put their hand on my stomach. this started about a week ago with the exception of when TA felt her on Saturday.
it's hilarious.
well.. it's hilarious for me, not for the other person.. because it's usually my mom (her grandma), TA (her father), or Amy (my best friend and her future non-related Aunt).
what a stinker.

birthday: art and sushi

 this weekend TA and i went to the Getty to celebrate me some more.
we had so much fun.
it was such a relaxing afternoon slowly walking around the Getty grounds looking at fantastic paintings and sculptures.
TA really seemed to enjoy himself too.. and his overpriced small coffee, while i enjoyed my overpriced iced tea and we both enjoyed a bag of peanut m&m's.
after we were finished art browsing.. we headed into Hollywood.
i had my first sighting of the Hollywood sign..
i've lived in southern California my whole life and i've never seen it.
bananas.
then we scoped out some thrift stores on La Brea and just enjoyed ourselves.
we drove past and then decided to walk past High Voltage and after i got paranoid that we'd look like tourists we ducked into Wonderland next door.
wow.
that's all i have to say about that place.
just... wow.
then it was time for sushi!!
TA had done his research for good Japanese food in Hollywood and Shintaro was high on the list.
(you need to go there. asap. and then tell Todd thank you because i still am.)
so he made reservations and then told our friends Courtney and Brendan about our day date and they ended up meeting us there after their day date of whale watching.
it was so nice seeing them.
Todd truly made this a special birthday for me.

 {22.5 weeks}

in other news... i'm getting big.
but, blessedly, all. my. pants. still. fit.
it's amazing.
every morning when i wake up i quickly imagine none of my pants fitting and me freaking out again,
but it doesn't happen.
(fingers crossed for the rest of this pregnancy)
my shirts... oh well we all know how that goes don't we?
ever-expanding therefore.. ever-getting-tighter.
it's beyond me how a woman's body is made to grow in such a short period of time.
and then goes back! (hopefully quickly.. and even better than before.. hi crossfit.. nice to meet you.)
though my digestion has become quite tricky... it's nothing i can't manage.
23 weeks today!

24 is the new cool

as i'm sure you already knew... (of course you did... i'm a really important person)(sarcasm)
....
yesterday was my 24th birthday!
it was very relaxing and only half the amount of fun TA and i will be having tomorrow (more on that in a bit).

it started out way too early.
remember.. we live in a loft.
no walls.
no doors (except in the bathroom and on the closets.).
and i'm the worlds lightest sleeper.
therefore, when TA's alarm goes off... it wakes me up and not him.
he could sleep through a tornado.
so jealous.
anyway, once he does wake up, i usually have a difficult time trying to go back to sleep because i can hear everything he's doing in the kitchen.
making coffee.. making his lunch...
and usually in the middle of all of that his phone will go off for work.
so i was up at 6am like he was.
but he was really cute... when he did finally open his eyes to turn off his alarm
he looked over at me and said "it's your birthday. happy birthday!"

he had called me a couple days earlier and asked if i had planned anything for my birthDAY.
when i told him no he said good and told me that he had scheduled me a massage for 10am.
and then i kind of burst into tears.
(this has happened a couple of times now when Todd has done something incredibly kind or thoughtful)
i wanted to hug him.
and i did when he got home.

so yesterday i took off for my appointment and met my masseuse.
she seemed to be really excited that i was pregnant, which was sweet.
after i was all situated and under the lightly fragranced sheets, baby girl started kicking.
i think she was equally excited that i was going to be "relaxed".
when Mary (masseuse) came in she brought with her... conversation.
now, i'm not one that regularly goes to get massages AT ALL.
i've been to the chiropractors 2394875327 more times than i've been massaged.
but... i was kind of looking forward to a quiet room and not too much conversation.
oh but Mary... she had questions.. and her life story to tell me.
and she had a really thick accent so i had to really concentrate on what she was saying.
nevertheless, she was incredibly kind.
even while she was telling me that after i have baby girl i need to "get back into shape quickly or Todd might leave you for a younger, hotter version of you."
to which i just nodded my head and said.. "uh huh."
she kind of made up for it after she left the room so i could get dressed again and i noticed she left me a york peppermint patty on top of my purse.
the best part of the whole event was when i was quickly (very quickly)(who likes being almost nude in a strange place?) trying to get dressed and all the power in the building went out.
i was standing there.. half dressed, in the pitch black darkness... fumbling for the rest of my clothes and at the same time trying not to trip over the massage bed.
once i got my clothes on, and crossed my finger that my shirt wasn't inside out and backwards.. i left the room.
luckily my massage was over by the time the power went out because most of the clients were mid-massage.

after i got back in the car and got home TA gave me my present and we had some running around to do for his work and then he took me to sushi.
(straight to my heart, that man)
after that we went to a thrift store by our house.. baby girl has 6 new items of clothing and 1 new pair of minnetonkas.   (i seriously don't know if they were ever worn by a little. they look brand-spankin-new)
holla!
then we went and got froyo and promptly went home to reeeeelax.

but, the real fun.... that's happening tomorrow.
i've never been the The Getty and that exactly where he's taking me.
then he's whisking me to Hollywood for sushi (again!) (ps.... please don't worry about me being pregnant and eating sushi.)
i'm looking forward to it.

we're soaking up all the "free" time we have now before baby girl gets here.
i seriously cannot wait to meet her.
and i seriously cannot wait to spend this weekend with TA.