my girl

life has certainly become a routine based on one happy little lady.

 [my new favorite picture in the whole universe]

i have never known a baby to be as happy and content as Gemma.
especially at this young.
sometimes when i'm holing her and i'm picking up the house i'll look at her and she'll look at me.. and then she smiles so big i think my heart will burst.

give her a bath?

happy as a clam.

accidentally splash water in her eyes?

no big deal.

now, i must confess.... i dropped my phone on her head yesterday.

she was not happy.

it was the saddest cry.. like when she's dead asleep and cries? those big, heart breaking cries? 

it was one of those.

but it didn't leave a bump and she quickly went back to feeding.

(plus i said i was sorry fifty bajillion times)

and two other times she was starving in the car and screaming her head off and i was driving alone just with her and she wouldn't take her binky and i could barely concentrate on getting us home and not pulling over right then and there and feeding her.

those were really stressful, sad times.

hearing her cry makes my heart hurt.

and knowing she cried herself to sleep on those rides home didn't make me feel better because i knew she was hungry and i couldn't do anything about it, so instead of taking her car seat up with her in it... i took her out and carried her little cried-out, red rimmed eyed, exhausted body up to our home and kissed her little forehead and chubby cheeks.

i love her more than i love myself.

i can't imagine any part of my day without her.

she is light and joy and peace and goodness and happiness and newness.

John 16:21: "Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world."